A levels was out and at first I was looking forward to how the others would fare for this as a third party. But after I heard of how one of my friend has to retake As because she failed her GP, it became terrifying. Would that be me if I did not retain in year one? Considering the fact that we had similar promos results but she managed to advance. It is such a horrible feeling thinking of retaking As. With no friends and all, maybe worse than retaining. But retaining is a different kind of pain which nobody would understand unless they really went through it. LIKE REALLY. I never believed in how my friends said they understand how I feel. BECAUSE THEY BLOODY DONT UNDERSTAND. Nobody would know I cried so many times in 2013 which is more than I ever did in from primary school to secondary school. The feelings fade eventually but it would never die down. You know you must let go of the past to feel better but you cant help it. Sometimes it is like there is nobody to talk to...

On the side note, my classmate's mother passed away this tuesday due to skin cancer. We went to attend her wake on thursday. I got reminded of my grandma who passed away a few months ago. And once again aware that there are many things in life which are more important than academic results and we should cherish them. Hope that my classmate would get better and let's all jiayou for As!


Life gives you shit. Always.